This is the question I am constantly asking myself. Not because I can’t read Googlemaps very well (although that is a definite problem), but because I need direction. I need to be moving towards a goal and it feels so very long since I had one. I sort of know the kinds of things I want to be doing with my life, but I need to make some proper plans.
So, I am taking a couple of weeks off to mull it over. I’ve been experimenting with content, trying to work out what it is I have to say to the world and what people want to hear and see more of. I need to take some time to work out what’s working and how I can be useful. The past few weeks have been hectic and I am so very tired! That could be social media fatigue, or it could just be my age…
This break won’t all be brainstorming and stat crunching, though. We have a trip to London planned where I will finally celebrate my 40th birthday with a Big Night Out, have a birthday party for the kids with my best mates and their children, do some touristy things, drink all the decent coffee, marvel at how even more hipster Peckham has become since we left and spend some time with my little family.
So it’s only a temporary farewell. I do want to spend more time on the blog when I return and have lined up some guest bloggers to tell their stories of motherhood and happiness.
Please feel free to comment and share with me what you have enjoyed, what your interests are and what you want to see more of from the Happy Mums Club. You could even tell me your favourite blogs, social media accounts, podcasts, etc, so I can rip them off get some inspiration.
Just lately I have been so weighed down by the heaviness of all the things I need to think about (including the lateness of this blog post) and have noticed that I’m not the only one. There have been quite a few features about this ‘mental load‘ mums carry.
Is it a new concept? A by-product of modern life? Is it that we are more open in talking about these things in 2017 than our mothers were in 1977? (I will stick my neck out and say mothers are particularly – although not exclusively – affected.) Perhaps it’s just easier to talk about it because someone has coined the phrase ‘the mental load’ so we actually have a label for something that has been bothering us for decades?
On a day-to-day basis I know I have a large and heavy mental load. This is partly due to my particular circumstances. If having a child is a full-time job, then having a disabled child is like having a full-time job, with unreasonable overtime hours AND a couple of part-time jobs on the side. We are privileged in that we have family nearby and extra funds to pay for what Ted needs, but life is busy and we are on duty 24-7 (even with help) so things can quickly get too much to handle.
OK, so I don’t hate mindfulness. But I do admit to doing a tiny cringe when I hear the word. I love the concept: pay closer attention to whatever you are doing, it silences your mind so you feel less stressed and more joyful, I mean who doesn’t want that?
But I do believe it’s easy to think that mindfulness is just too worthy to bother with. It can seem like a chore, you know? The last thing any mum needs is another bloody chore.